Crazy Quotes from Ellen G. White
By Robert K. Sanders
When I come across Ellen G. White's (EGW) crazy quotes doing research, I wonder how I ever believed this stuff—for 37 years. When I read them now I have a good laugh. I hope you see the humor in them also.
- Excessive seeing is a sin: "Excessive indulgence in eating, drinking, sleeping, or SEEING, is sin." —Counsels on Diet and Foods, page 141, written in 1880. I guess EGW did not want her help "seeing" her excessive indulgence in eating meat, oysters, drinking wine, and stealing material for her books from uninspired authors.
- Piano tuners deal with insanity: In many cases I have advised out-of-door work for piano tuners, telling them that unless they changed their business, they would have to deal with insanity. —Letter 104, 1901. I wonder how many piano tuners tried to tune pianos out-of-doors in the winter so they would not go insane? Really! Perhaps wearing gloves would help keep them from going insane! How many piano tuners have gone insane?
- Having an upset stomach will make infidels: Deranged stomachs have made infidels. You can be a preacher of righteousness in this respect. The greatness of the work that may be accomplished in the lines of health reform has not been comprehended or appreciated. There is religion in the making of good bread. I hope you will consider these things, and realize that your work is of consequence. —Manuscript Releases, Volume Fourteen, page 342, paragraph 2. Would taking Pepto-Bismo after being gassed up eating SDA Veggie meat keep you from becoming infidels? And I always thought an infidel was a person that rejected Christ or was not a Christian—not caused by a deranged stomach.
- Tea and coffee drinking loosens the tongue: When these tea and coffee users meet together for social entertainment, the effects of their pernicious habit are manifest. All partake freely of the favorite beverages, and as the stimulating influence is felt, their tongues are loosened, and they begin the wicked work of talking against others. —Counsels on Diet and Foods, p. 423. SDAs must drink a lot of coffee and tea in secret. I remember some church members back-stabbing their fellow church members when they get together in their clicks. If you find this going on in your church, suggest that they lay off the coffee and tea!
- Showing face and head are immodest: I was shown that the people of God should not imitate the fashions of the world... I was pointed back to God's ancient people, and was led to compare their apparel with the mode of dress in these last days. What a difference! What a change! Then the women were not so bold as now. WHEN THEY WENT IN PUBLIC, THEY COVERED THEIR FACES WITH A VAIL. In these last days, fashions are shameful and immodest...The small bonnets, exposing the face and head, show a lack of modesty...The inhabitants are growing more and more corrupt... —Testimonies, Volume 1, pp. 188; 189. EGW would have supported the Muslim women wearing veils and burquas. EGW sure did not have her faced covered, so she was a bare faced hypocrite. See her pictures that she claimed were idols.
- Angels need a gold card to get in and out of heaven: There is perfect order and harmony in the Holy City. All the angels that are commissioned to visit the earth hold a golden card, which they present to the angels at the gates of the city as they pass in and out. —Early Writings (1882), page 39. (Do angels really need a gold ID card to get in and out of heaven? Can evil angels deceive the loyal angels to get into heaven? Why did God withhold this important piece of information from Christians for over 2000 years?)
- Women should not allow wet-nurses to suckle their babies or the babies will take on the temper and temperament of the nurse. A stranger performs the duties of the mother and gives from her breast the food to sustain life. Nor is this all. She also imparts her temper and her temperament to the nursing child. The child's life is linked to hers. If the hireling is a coarse type of woman, passionate, and unreasonable; if she is not careful in her morals, the nursling will be, in all probability, of the same, or a similar type. The same coarse quality of blood, coursing in the veins of the hireling nurse, is in that of the child. —The Health Reformer, September 1, 1871, paragraph 7. Ellen claims that if the wet nurse is a course woman with low morals the baby will have the same nature. Really? This means when the milk is digested by the baby and turned into blood, the brain will recognize that the milk came from a woman of low morals and pass that nature to the baby. Let us ask this question, if the milk the baby drinks comes from a cow, does the baby have the morals and nature of a cow? Please be concerned if the baby starts mooing. The low morals that babies have are not from the food they eat, but being born with a carnal nature. A former SDA lady wrote me that her mother is a real EGW fanatic and nothing that she says to her mother will move her from believing in EGW. This lady drank a glass of milk and then mooed in her mother's ear which her mother did not find funny. At another time she whispered in her mother's ear that she had a need to go outdoors and eat some alfalfa and hay. Even humor sometimes does not help a person to admit they have been deceived.
- What is the most worthless job angels have on planet Earth? Watching over the dust of Wm. Miller says EGW in one of her "I saw" moments! God suffered him to come under the power of Satan, and death to have dominion over him. He hid him in the grave, away from those who were constantly drawing him from God. Moses erred just as he was about to enter the promised land. So also, I saw that Wm. Miller erred as he was soon to enter the heavenly Canaan, in suffering his influence to go against the truth. Others led him to this. Others must account for it. But angels watch the precious dust of this servant of God, and he will come forth at the sound of the last trump. —Spiritual Gifts, Volume 1 (1858), page 168. William Miller’s membership in the Masonic Order has been a matter of public record, in print, since 1853. Miller died in 1849. In 1858, nine years after Miller's death EGW had one of her visions from God where she pronounced him coming forth in the resurrection. This is important because EGW made it clear those that belonged to the Masons would lose their souls. Why did God tell Ellen that Miller would be saved and then give her another vision that those belonging to Masons would lose their souls? Any rational person can see EGW never received visions from God. In 1853, Sylvester Bliss noted in his Memoirs of William Miller, pp. 21, 22: “It was here [Poultney, Vermont] that Miller became a member of the Masonic fraternity, in which his perseverance, if nothing else, was manifested; for he advanced to the highest degree which the lodges in the country, or in any in that region, could confer.” There is no doubt that Mrs. White took every opportunity to degrade men who became Freemasons. Read the words she wrote regarding Brother Faulkhead: “The Lord also revealed to me Brother Faulkhead's connection with the FreeMasons, and I plainly stated that unless he severed every tie that bound him to these associations he would lose his soul. —Selected Messages, Volume 3 p. 85: 1980 Ed. Now which is it, will Wm. Miller will be resurrected with the saints or he will lose his soul because he was a Mason? Where does the Bible tells us that angels watch over the dead or the dust of the dead?
- In heaven there will be no color line; for all will be as white as Christ himself. I received an e-mail that brought this to my attention as follows: Thus, Adventists not only have to observe the Jewish food, sabbath, and tithing laws, but they must actually look like Jews as well in order to enter heaven and have the same skin color as Jesus had. How do I tell my sweet little, five-year old, African-American granddaughter that the color of her skin is unacceptable for heaven? EGW: "The Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, Whom the Father will send in My name, He shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance." You are the children of God. He has adopted you, and He desires you to form characters here that will give you entrance into the heavenly family. Remembering this, you will be able to bear the trials which you meet here. In heaven there will be no color line; for all will be as white as Christ himself. Let us thank God that we can be members of the royal family. —The Gospel Herald, March 1, 1901, paragraph 20, Article Title: Trust in God. Is God really going to change the color of your skin if you are not white? I f you are not white what is your reaction to this? Do you really accept EGW as a lesser light leading you to the greater light and that she is another source of truth?
More coming!